Held-up.

And it was a typical Friday night, and I’m in the usual “thank God it’s Friday” mood.  I was on my way home from our office team meeting and dinner.  I was high-spirited and happy.  My workloads are done for the week; I had a fun moment with my office mates, and eagerly looking forward to the weekend.

I took my usual routine on my way home:  I walked from dela Rosa and crossed Ayala Avenue, and went to the waiting area for a cab.  Mga ilang minuto din akong naghintay pero walang dumadaan na sasakyan.  So i opted to walk again towards Valero, deciding to take the fx shuttle on the way home.  One unit stopped in front of me, bound to Greenland Pasig.  I made a hand sign asking kung dadaan ng Bagong Ilog.  The driver nodded, so I took the ride.  I sat at my favorite spot—sa likod, right side.  The driver’s wife and their two kids were at the front, a guy and two ladies in the middle, then another lady was with me at the back.  There was this weird looking man sitting with us at the back, right in front of me.  At first when I looked at him, I was like, “kuya ayaw mo naman magslouch? Nasa bahay ka?”  He is wearing a black cap, dark clothes, with a dark colored knapsack, and he is “dark”.  Naisip ko na naman, production assistant ba tong si kuya? Naka all black eh.  He looked restless.

The weird looking man, finally, settled on his seat properly.  Kinuha ko ang earphones ko and I listened to music like I usually do when travelling.  Hindi ko nilabas yung iTouch ko, just the earphones.  Hindi ko maiwasang mapatingin sa lalaking kaharap ko.  He looks like he’s observing each and every one of us inside the vehicle.  I had this sudden feeling na “baka holdaper to.....”.  When we approached the Buendia flyover, I was currently in making a decision to get off the vehicle when suddenly the tall, dark and never mind man sitting in front of me took a gun out of his dark knapsack and forcefully declared:  “HOLDAP TO!”

I was shocked.  My sleepiness left me that instant.  I began to tremble and wanted to faint.  Unang tinutukan ni kuya yung isang lalaking nakasakay sa gitna (minutes earlier he took out his iPhone 4 because someboday called him up).  “Akina mga cellphone niyo!!!!” My heart wanted to jump out of my chest, I was really in shock.  I was saying to myself, ilalabas ko ba yung BlackBerry ko? Nooooo.... I won’t, di ko naman siya nilabas sa bag ko eh. He wouldn’t know. 

He grabbed the phone of my co-passenger, a Nokia qwerty phone.  Nung una aagawin pa sana ulit ni ate yung phone niya, pleading to get her simcard back.  But the man was furious, he angrily refused to return the sim card.  Then he grabbed the other man’s iPhone 4 and the other lady’s cellphone.  Walang nakuha dun sa isang babae kasi malayo siya dun sa holdaper.  It all happened at the flyover.  Parang gusto kong marealize na ganun pala kahaba ang Buendia flyover.  It was my longest trip at the flyover, ever.

He last looked at me, tinutukan niya ako ng baril, right at my face, and demanding me to give him my iTouch---my only begotten iTouch:  The one given to me by my younger sister, a gift from her from Canada.  Of course, even at my state of shock, I was able to think of my actions properly.  I just gave it away.  Pikit mata.  I wanted to scream, to cry out, but I chose not to.  Baka magfreak out si kuya at barilin ako.  Ayaw ko pang mamatay.

Pagkababa ng flyover, he shouted at us once again, still pointing his gun at us... “Huwag kang titigil sa pag andar!  Pasasabugin ko kayong lahat!”  After that threat, he hurriedly went off the fx shuttle.  Nagmamadali siya, may lakad yata... and walked away from us, normally, as if nothing happened.

We continued in our journey to Pasig but it’s as if we don’t know where we are going.  That’s the time na nag freak out na yung mga kasama ko.  But I was still silent, not because kalmado ako; but because I too wanted to freak out!

We stopped at Kalayaan Avenue and figured out what we should do.  The driver went off the fx and looked for someone na makakatulong sa amin.  Then there’s two policemen who approached us and asked what happened.  Sinabi naman namin but we were disappointed with their response.  “Hindi po kasi namin jurisdiction yung pinangyarihan ng holdap eh.  Sa may presinto sa may Hotel Intercon kayo magreport....”  Okay fine, pero sana kahit escortan man lang kami papunta dun sa presinto, baka mas okay na sana.  But after a few minutes, the two policemen were nowhere to be found.  So we made our own efforts to look for that police station, wala kaming choice.  The woman sitting beside me and the other one na hindi nakuhanan ng phone, they did not went with us due to their personal reasons.  I was tired and sleepy, but I chose to come with them.   I posted a status on my Facebook about the incident; I was trembling still while typing the words.  I was thankful to God for sparing my life.  I texted my family and informed them of what happened.

We were able to locate the police station and reported the incident.  I was not putting any hopes na mahuli nila yung suspect, if you know what I mean.  After an hour my parents and my sister arrived at the station.  Upon seeing them, I broke my silence:  I embraced my dad and cried.  I was really scared, afraid, traumatized.  Noon, hanggang kwento lang sa mga friends ko yung holdapan na  ganun, but now, mismong ako naexperience ko na.  Totoo pala talaga na may ganun.

After that, umalis na kami sa police station.  Hinatid na din namin yung isang  babaeng naholdap.  We reached home at past 1AM. 

Pagkaupo ko sa kama ko, may mga naisip lang ako (these are honest thoughts, not necessarily correct or acceptable):

Dapat pala may isang spare phone ka na mumurahin na pwede mong ibigay sa holdaper.

-          Dapat pala dinala ko yung pepper spray ko.  But I changed my mind.  Baka magpaputok lang si kuya ng baril pag inisprayan ko siya nun, lalo lang magkagulo.

-          Ngayon ko napatunayan yung mga sinasabi noon ni Bro. Eddie:  Na shocking and grinding ang poverty level sa atin.  Na kailangan pa mangholdap at pumatay ng tao para lang magkapera, para lang mabuhay.

-          Ayoko nang magcommute mag isa.

-          May isa pa akong naisip, pero hindi ko na isusulat dito. 

I was crying and praying to God, thanking Him for sparing my life.  I believe He has greater plans for me na hindi pa nangyayari kaya He saved me from that danger.  Despite the trauma that incident caused me, still, I will never stop thanking the Lord for his indescribable mercy and power, and for the lives of my family and loved ones who showed concern to me... Truly no material possessions can match the Lord’s greatness and the love these guys showed me.

"For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways." Psalm 91:11 KJV

Just want to share this song by JJ Heller – Your Hands

I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away

I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

Your hands
Your hands that shape the world 
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when...

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave...
I never leave Your hands

Vol. 2, Post # 4: Karmi is my Most Liked Musician - Part 1

Just a month and two days ago, I, together with my family and some close friends, asked for support to vote for my sister Karmi for STAGG's Most Liked Drummer of 2010.  It was a very long one month for us.

For those who voted for her on the Music Source Facebook Page, have you ever wondered how her life as a musician have started?

Let's look back.

*****

Karmi, an "Aiza Seguerra" look alike (gusto ko lang talagang sabihin yan hehehe!), started to show her interest in music when she was in elementary... I guess, when she was in grade four or five.  At first she started to play the guitar. She used to play that every chapel service in our school.  Nung uso pa ang song hits at power pack na may guitar chord charts sa gitna, she studied the chords all by herself and for a short period of time she was able to play songs with that.  She also learned how to play the bass guitar and a little bit of piano/organ.

See! Aiza Seguerra diba? :)

Upon entering high school, she started to play drums.  Not on Pearl, not on Yamaha, or on any other brand of drum set.... but on an improvised one, made of water containers.  She played drums for our small community church chapter every Wednesdays.  

She eventually joined our Youth Band and then our church's Sunday worship leading team.  Whenever the band joins inter-chapter competitions during summer camps, her drumming skills were never left unnoticed.  Maybe because people are not used on seeing a girl playing drums.  As years went by, this talent just went to a higher level of proficiency.  At a very young age, she was able to conduct drum workshops in our church's different local chapters.

After high school, she entered UST to study Music, but a year later she auditioned and transferred to UP to pursue her studies, majoring in percussion.  In this age she was exposed to different kinds of percussion instruments--the marimba and timpani to name a few (she even named her dogs after these instruments).

At 18, my dad gave her a Blue Sonor drumset as a gift for her. She even had a special slot on her surprise debut's program--the 18 drummers.  Her drum guru, Sir Jun Regalado, even graced the event.  I guess these things encouraged her to take her skill to another higher level.

Karmi using her drumset on her YouTube drum videos

Karmi with Drum Legend Sir Jun Regalado. Well this is not exactly her debut pic with him :D

Several years after, she was given the opportunity to be a part of our church's Central team of instrumentalists - the Jesus Army of Musicians (JAM).  This paved the way to a "larger territory"--she was able to reach out and minister to our brethren not only here in the Philippines but also abroad by conducting workshops and performing on worship events and music camps in Thailand, Taiwan and Canada.

Karmi with the Musikatha team at JIL BC Canada's Anniversary

Drum Workshop at JIL Taiwan

Karmi with other Asian percussionists at SAYOWE - Thailand

Her being a part of this team made us realize how God significantly transformed her from a shy girl to an anointed, skillful young musician.  This transformation pushed her to reach out more people.  She was given opportunity to play drums for different artists like Richard Poon, Sam Milby, Acel van Ommen and Yeng Constantino.  This opened doors to more opportunities for her as a sessionist drummer.  Jack Rufo, one of the country's guitar legends, opened an audition to play for him on drums for a new band called Novus Luna.  Out of the many who gave a shot, she emerged and given the chance to be the band's drummer.  Together with Jack, Gareth Somers on bass and Barbara Jeanne on vocals, this band is now active and starting to make "noise" on the local music industry.

With Richard Poon at MYX Live

Karmi Plays for Sam Milby at Malolos Bulacan (click this link)

Karmi plays for Acel at Cebu

Novus Luna's song for RPG Metanoia OST - Star Cinema's entry to 2010 MMFF

*****

One night, Karmi was browsing the internet, and saw this STAGG Most Liked Drummer of 2010 Photo Album on Facebook, comprised of photos of nominated drummers from different famous bands.  Here our conversation started:

Karmi:  Ate Karen, tignan mo to oh.  Kelan kaya ako manonominate sa mga ganito noh?

Karen: ..... *went back to the kitchen to look for something to eat*

Karmi:  ATE KARENNNN!!!!

Karen: ???? *looks back, puzzled"

Karmi:  NOMINATED AKO!!!! Shaccckkksss!!!

Karen: !!!!!! 

And this is where it all started.

*****

Watch out for Part 2 :)

Vol. 2, Post # 3: 32 Random Things worth Remembering on JIL's 32nd year

Today, I was supposed to write about my Singapore trip about two weeks ago.  But what happened last night is really worth the "write"--ASAP. :D

***

This year's celebration of my beloved Jesus Is Lord Church anniversary is, I could say, unique.  First, because this is the first time since I become a JIL member wherein the anniversary was celebrated on the last week of October, and, on a Friday (we usually celebrate this every first Sunday of October).  Second, it started late in the afternoon, in contrast to the usual 3PM kick off; which I understand, probably to give chance to our working brethren to attend since Friday is still a working day.  And third, it took place a few days before All Saints Day. Well for me it's unique. :)

Oh, another thing.  After being an attendee, then member of the 1000 voice choir, then dancer, then projectionist, then drummer (for a drum ensemble lang po)--now, I'm part of the anniversary production team, as an assistant.

I would just like to share the things that I saw, I heard, and I learned (and will never forget) about this glorious anniversary--Soaring Higher from Strength to Strength!

***
1.  Dapat palaging may energy. Because there will be times you'll be running from here to there, you have to stand up almost all the time, you have to make your brain cells work.  It's really important na bago ka pumunta ng Luneta, you were able to "charge" yourself.  You even have to eat a decent meal (decent in terms of quantity and nutrition-wise).  Energy is important to achieve alertness and presence of mind.  In my case, I never slept properly for two days.  I went to Luneta for the technical rehearsal Thursday afternoon, then I rushed to work in the evening, worked overtime, then rushed back to Luneta Friday after lunch.  But I don't know, I was okay during the event, thanks to my Almighty God and a serving of Sarsi.

2.  You should be spiritually ready. Being part of the production team is somewhat like a battle for me.  It's like worshipping God even if you're not singing and dancing with the congregation.  It's like you're in a pressure cooker for about 8 hours and you're liking it, because you're doing these things to glorify God.  For me, everyone of us should be ready--for I believed this anniversary is God's perfect opportunity for Him to show His glory and revelation He stored for us.  A timely chance for us to experience His mighty love and power; together with our fellow brethren who came from different parts of the country and the world (which was even made more possible via Live Streaming).

3.  The power of the masking tape.  I never thought the importance of masking tape until this event.  It was very useful:  nametag at pandikit sa kung ano anong bagay.  A must have for a production assistant.

4.  The power of the wristband.  Or a friendship bracelet, whatever you wanna call it :p.  Instead of an ID, a performer is given this blue wristband which serves a pass to the bleachers area.

5.  The backdrop is so powerful.  It made me shiver.  It even came with my favorite color. :D

6.  Overwhelming support of my church for my sister's battle.  My sister Karmi was given a chance to show what she's got.  She's currently on the top spot for Stagg's Most Liked Drummer of 2010.  Thanks to all who supported and believed in her.  Seeing her playing the drums for the JIL people brought me to tears.  This was different.  I could feel the love and support of these people for her.  What made me happier is that I saw Karmi now with a new level of self-confidence.

Beat that drums girl!

7.  Test of patience.  There were instances wherein my weakest point was tested.  I opted not to mention it here, but all I can say is that... I ruled over it.

8.  VIPs.  I was able to see and greet some famous people, but the presence of our Senate President, Juan Ponce Enrile, amazed me.  At that age he is still in good shape.  I did not vote for him last election though.

9.  Powerful production numbers.  Cheers to all who became part of the special presentations.  I watched them again at www.jilworldwide.org, nakakakilabot pa din.  I could say you really did your best, at performance level.  Of course, our excellent God deserves this kind of offering.  Very anointed talaga!

The youth of JIL Batangas during the technical rehearsal

10.  Recognition of Bro. Eddie's works for the JIL Church.  There was also a special moment for our dear spiritual director Bishop Eddie Villanueva.  Truly he was mightily used by God in sharing the Gospel, in transforming peoples lives, and making them realize that they need the Lord's love and power in their lives.  He was given an eagle "trophy" and a plaque.  But these two are not enough, because I believe he has a greater and glorious reward awaiting him in heaven.

11. The people, kahit medyo mainit (medyo lang talaga), nakangiti pa rin.  I know, that's so Pinoy.  But I know again, they're smiling because they're happy that they made it to the anniversary :)

Powerful crowd!

12.  Im not that aware that I'm actually placing my pencil, errr, Ate Fe's pencil rather; behind my right ear.

13.  It's important that you have your mobile phone fully charged.  I was not contacted by my friends because it went down.

14.  Now I know the importance of a belt bag.  I now say this is another must have for a production assistant.  You can have your important things with you without carrying your bag by the hand. :)

15.  For me, the anniversary is also a perfect time to see, meet and talk with your online/Facebook friends.

16.  I don't know if it's just me or what, but I loved our dinner--Fried chicken with atchara.  Naka-dalawang styro ako ng chicken and rice.  Sobrang gutom na din siguro. Hehe palusot pa.

17.  The power of RC Cola this time.  I don't want to be a softrdrink addict again, but this made me awake for the whole event.  At least hindi na coffee ang panlaban sa antok, para maiba naman. Mom, if you're reading this, don't get mad at me. Hindi na po mauulit.  No to softrdrinks mode na po ako ulit.  By the way, I gulped the last RC can sa ref kanina. Last na talaga yun promise.

18.  The mighty men and women of God in black and flowery white.  Mabuhay ang JAM VIA!  You guys made a fantastic job in leading the congregation in the spirit of worship! :) Way to go Ate Edith and to the rest of the team!

Sis. Edith Mendoza leading the congregation in praise and worship

19.  The mighty young men and women of God in violet!  I super love your shirt! May ganyan pa ba kayo? Hehehe!  You just scared the devil off with your powerful moves!

TEAM! :) Super like--the shirt! :D

20.  The 32 acoustic guitarists.  Very unique!  32 finest guitarists together for this special part of the praise and worship!  Cheers to Kuya Paul, well, you're Kuya Paul eh!  Kuya Paul equals EPIC WIN!  Glory to God! :)

And they're just enjoying the moment!

21.  Apat na bote lang naman ng Batis Mineral water ang naubos ko.

22.  It's a very right decision for me not to wear heels during the anniv!  I just wore my ever reliable flats.  Perfect for running from the stage to the Kalabaw!

23.  It's a good thing we were able to park our family car just a few meters away from the stage.

24.  KKB's powerful number for Lupang Hinirang.  Diane sang the national anthem superbly.  It made me remember Charice on that kind of gown.  So sweet looking but glamorous.

25.  Cheers to my good friend Jade for taking care of my camera.  Maaasahan ka talaga! :D

26.  Ate Leslie and Ate Joan made a fantastic job in "managing the left and right side of the stage". Hehehe!

27.  Special mention also to the MIS Team for LiveStreaming the event!

Mam Soc's team with one of my most admired writers--Ate Evelyn :)

28.  The testimony portion.

29.  Good weather.  Though at first umambon at umulan ng mahina; but the rest of the night is just fine.

30.  One thing I saw as a good one on celebrating this on a Friday is that the people really stayed up to the end of the program, kahit madaling araw na natapos.

31.  After the heart-tearing suspense, throat wrecking shouting, leg spraining running here and there, and breath taking pressure, the production team did it!  For God's glory. :D We went wild and in high spirits, we sang, danced, jumped, shouted in joy, and took endless pictures together like there's no tomorrow.  I was sad because the anniversary went to an end, but was super happy because everything went fine (well almost), by the grace of God.  I'm proud to become a part of this team! Mabuhay ka Ate Maidz, you're such a super woman!

32.  And lastly, the Vision.  The last part of the event amazed me.  44 pastors went on stage carrying the flags of the 44 countries with JIL Churches.  Then 36 kids in national costumes of 36 countries followed them, representing the countries with JIL Churches in the next few years.  And lastly, 36 young men and women followed the kids, holding flaglets matching the kid's represented countries, symbolizing the acceptance of God's mandate to continue the legacy in order to make this vision into a reality.

***

I'm really proud and honored to become a member of this glorious church.  A church that stood up and tall for justice and righeousness.  A nation loving church.  A church that is genuinely compassionate not only to its members, but to every people in every race.  A worshipping church.  A church of great faith.  A praying church.  A church with a Vision.

This is my church.

Vol. 2, Post # 2: Warning to my girl friends. Beware. (Halaw sa Tunay na Pangyayari)

Posted on July 21, 2010.
***

I believe this will serve as a reminder for my fellow women friends.

My current schedule at work is at 9pm to 6am. Whenever I work night shift, and I don't want to work for early overtime, I used to leave the house at 8pm. I also take 3 rides to work: Tricycle to Pasig Market, Jeep to Bagong Ilog, and FX to Ayala. Though it's 3 rides, there's no hassle on my part because there's no traffic jam during this time at night.

Last night, I took the tricycle ride to Palengke. Check. Next, sumakay na ako sa nakaabang na jeep sa kanto. I sat at my favorite place - sa bukana. Para madaling bumaba at para di ako ang mag abot ng bayad sa driver. Pero I had this sudden feeling of selflessness, I asked the woman sitting in front of me kung magbabayad na siya... Pwede niyang iabot sa akin at ako na ang mag aabot sa driver. I felt good.

I'm an observer whenever I'm travelling anywhere. My sight caught this man, looking at me. Malagkit ang tingin. I felt weird.

I looked the other way, towards the driver. Since walang laman masyado ang jeep, I sat sideways, like sitting on a couch, pero not that "feel-at-home" way. Sakto lang. Then I was surprised the man that's looking weirdly at me went on the jeep and sat beside me. Sa kaliwa ko. Since I was sitting sideways, nakaharap ko siya all of a sudden. I was surprised, I immediately looked the other way. Sa bukana na ako nakatingin ngayon.

He sat beside me for a few minutes. I felt something touched my shoulder, but I ignored it. I cluctched my shoulder bag close to me. I kept on looking at my right side until he left the jeep. It was weird because he get off even before the jeep left the terminal. Pagkababa niya, he gave me this "maniac-ish" grin, and he never took his eyes off me until the jeep was far from him... until he was off my sight. I shivered.

Pagdating sa Bagong Ilog, I prepared myself to get off the jeep. Then there is this man who sits infront of me. He's looking at me weirdly. Then parang hindi na siya makatiis, he pointed at my left shoulder. And the woman in front of me (yung nagpasuyo ng bayad) is also looking at me, like she knew something "bad" has happened to me. She said, "yung lalaki kanina..." Hindi na niya matuloy yung gusto niyang sabihin.

I froze. Akala ko ipis. Magffreak out na sana ako. But I slowly looked at my left shoulder, and I was devastated. Something whitish, sticky and slightly bubbly is on my left shoulder. I was rattled. Nanginginig ako na hinawakan yung left shoulder ko, and the smell was weird, I could say terrible. I almost burst into tears when I said, "Para po". While I was walking, I got my tissue and hand sanitizer to clean up. I don't want to think about "what is that". But I was really devastated. However, I was thankful because nothing bad has happened to me. God is great, and good.

To my friends, specially the girls, take care of yourself, lalo na pag bumibiyahe kayo sa gabi. As much as possible, go in groups, or dapat may kasama kayo lagi. Most of all, pray. It's the strongest and ultimate protection you can get.

Now I am planning to not to take my usual travel routine.

Vol. 2, Post # 1: The Runaway Groom and the Man with the Luggage

Posted on May 24, 2010.
***
I went home from our cluster’s team building. Sobrang kapagod. Sobrang init pa, to the highest level. Sabi ko nga sa nauna kong FB status post: my head is spinning. Nakakahilo talaga. Dahil sa sobrang antok at pagod at sakit ng ulo, nakatulog agad ako.

***

Pagmulat ko ng mata ko, nasa maganda akong hotel lobby. Nagulat ako sa suot ko. Bridal gown. Ang ganda. Tinignan ko ang sarili ko sa salamin, ang ganda ganda ko. Napaisip ako, anong meron?
Pagtingin ko sa may hagdan, nakita ko ang nanay ko, papunta sa kinatatayuan ko. She was all made up as well. Lalo akong nagtaka.

“Karen, halika na, nandun na yung mga tao, pati yung mapapangasawa mo...”

HA?!?! What.... Lalo na akong naguluhan. Sino? Hindi ko kilala... Kaya tinanong ko ang mommy ko.
Sabi niya,”Nagkasundo kami ng parents niya. Gusto namin kayo ang magkatuluyan. Papakilala ko siya sa yo pagdating natin don.”

Kamusta naman! Blind wedding? Natawa na lang ako, pero natakot ako. Haller, hindi lang ito date... Kasal na ito! Waaaah! Pwede magback out? Pero wala na akong nagawa... Hinatid nila ako sa bridal car. In fairness... Camry ang kotse. Kanino kaya iyon? Pwedeng arborin?

Papunta na kami sa simbahan. Hindi ko alam kung saan. Parang gusto ko munang mawalan ng malay for a moment. Hindi ko madigest yung mga nangyayari sakin. Nakakaimpatso.

Pagdating namin sa simbahan, sinamahan ako ni mommy sa may garden. May lalaking naghihintay. Lalo akong kinabahan, parang gusto kong mag CR sa sobrang kaba. Pagkakita ko sa lalaki, mmmmm! Gwaping! Why not! Mukha siyang kagalang galang. Pinakilala ako sa kanya ni mommy. “Karen, siya ang mapapangasawa mo. Iwan ko muna kayo para magkakilala pa kayo.” Naisip ko, hello.... sa ganitong sitwasyon pa ha!

Pagkaiwan samin ng nanay ko, nag usap kami. Naguguluhan talaga ako. Paano humantong sa ganito ang lahat? Hindi ko na maalala ang pinag usapan namin. Pero nung huli, magbaback out na daw siya. Ang dahilan? Ang pangit ko daw kasi. 

Ang gulo talaga. Hindi naman ako pangit ah. Yun ang nasabi ko sa sarili ko. Tska hello, di tayo magkakilala noh... Gusto ko siyang sabunutan noon pero bigla nalang siyang naglakad palayo.

Kahit nabigla ako sa mga nangyayari, I was devastated. Nag “runaway groom” ang mapapangasawa ko on our “surprise wedding”!

I went back to the bridal car. I was crying. Bakit naman hanggang sa ganito may rejection moment na naganap? Gusto ko na talaga umuwi at matulog na lang for a while. Or maybe longer than that. 
Nagulat na naman ako, sumakay ang nanay ko sa bridal car. Mukhang aware na siya sa pag walk out ng groom but it looks like she’s not worried. 

“Karen, bumaba na tayo... Nakapasok na sa church lahat ng tao at ang entourage. Ikaw nalang ang kulang. May lumapit sa amin at sabi niya siya nalang ang mag aaya sa yo na magpakasal.”

Kewl. Ganun na lang yun? May proxy? Hehehe. Hindi ko na alam kung anong mararamdaman ko nung moment na iyon. Pero sige, go. Bumaba ako kasama ang nanay ko. Nakita ko doon ang lahat ng mga taong naging part ng buhay ko. Slightly, naging masaya ako. But the million dollar question is, “sino ang sumalo sa akin sa panahong ito?”

Naglakad na ako sa aisle, pero instead of walking slowly, binilisan ko ang lakad ko. Ngunit kahit binilisan ko, parang ang layo pa din niya. 

I was surprised pagkalapit ko sa kanya. He was not even in a coat or tie or barong tagalog attire. He’s in casual clothes, at may luggage siyang dala. He’s tall. Pero nakatalikod siya sa akin.

I placed my hand on his shoulder para malaman ko kung sino siya. Nung malapit ko nang makita ang mukha niya...

***

Nagising ako. 

Arrrrrghhh! Yun na eh! Malapit na eh! Pwede bang matulog ulit? Para makita ko lang kung sino siya?
Pero hindi ko na nagawa iyon. I’ll be late for church.

Reactions?