Vol. 2, Post # 2: Warning to my girl friends. Beware. (Halaw sa Tunay na Pangyayari)

Posted on July 21, 2010.
***

I believe this will serve as a reminder for my fellow women friends.

My current schedule at work is at 9pm to 6am. Whenever I work night shift, and I don't want to work for early overtime, I used to leave the house at 8pm. I also take 3 rides to work: Tricycle to Pasig Market, Jeep to Bagong Ilog, and FX to Ayala. Though it's 3 rides, there's no hassle on my part because there's no traffic jam during this time at night.

Last night, I took the tricycle ride to Palengke. Check. Next, sumakay na ako sa nakaabang na jeep sa kanto. I sat at my favorite place - sa bukana. Para madaling bumaba at para di ako ang mag abot ng bayad sa driver. Pero I had this sudden feeling of selflessness, I asked the woman sitting in front of me kung magbabayad na siya... Pwede niyang iabot sa akin at ako na ang mag aabot sa driver. I felt good.

I'm an observer whenever I'm travelling anywhere. My sight caught this man, looking at me. Malagkit ang tingin. I felt weird.

I looked the other way, towards the driver. Since walang laman masyado ang jeep, I sat sideways, like sitting on a couch, pero not that "feel-at-home" way. Sakto lang. Then I was surprised the man that's looking weirdly at me went on the jeep and sat beside me. Sa kaliwa ko. Since I was sitting sideways, nakaharap ko siya all of a sudden. I was surprised, I immediately looked the other way. Sa bukana na ako nakatingin ngayon.

He sat beside me for a few minutes. I felt something touched my shoulder, but I ignored it. I cluctched my shoulder bag close to me. I kept on looking at my right side until he left the jeep. It was weird because he get off even before the jeep left the terminal. Pagkababa niya, he gave me this "maniac-ish" grin, and he never took his eyes off me until the jeep was far from him... until he was off my sight. I shivered.

Pagdating sa Bagong Ilog, I prepared myself to get off the jeep. Then there is this man who sits infront of me. He's looking at me weirdly. Then parang hindi na siya makatiis, he pointed at my left shoulder. And the woman in front of me (yung nagpasuyo ng bayad) is also looking at me, like she knew something "bad" has happened to me. She said, "yung lalaki kanina..." Hindi na niya matuloy yung gusto niyang sabihin.

I froze. Akala ko ipis. Magffreak out na sana ako. But I slowly looked at my left shoulder, and I was devastated. Something whitish, sticky and slightly bubbly is on my left shoulder. I was rattled. Nanginginig ako na hinawakan yung left shoulder ko, and the smell was weird, I could say terrible. I almost burst into tears when I said, "Para po". While I was walking, I got my tissue and hand sanitizer to clean up. I don't want to think about "what is that". But I was really devastated. However, I was thankful because nothing bad has happened to me. God is great, and good.

To my friends, specially the girls, take care of yourself, lalo na pag bumibiyahe kayo sa gabi. As much as possible, go in groups, or dapat may kasama kayo lagi. Most of all, pray. It's the strongest and ultimate protection you can get.

Now I am planning to not to take my usual travel routine.

Vol. 2, Post # 1: The Runaway Groom and the Man with the Luggage

Posted on May 24, 2010.
***
I went home from our cluster’s team building. Sobrang kapagod. Sobrang init pa, to the highest level. Sabi ko nga sa nauna kong FB status post: my head is spinning. Nakakahilo talaga. Dahil sa sobrang antok at pagod at sakit ng ulo, nakatulog agad ako.

***

Pagmulat ko ng mata ko, nasa maganda akong hotel lobby. Nagulat ako sa suot ko. Bridal gown. Ang ganda. Tinignan ko ang sarili ko sa salamin, ang ganda ganda ko. Napaisip ako, anong meron?
Pagtingin ko sa may hagdan, nakita ko ang nanay ko, papunta sa kinatatayuan ko. She was all made up as well. Lalo akong nagtaka.

“Karen, halika na, nandun na yung mga tao, pati yung mapapangasawa mo...”

HA?!?! What.... Lalo na akong naguluhan. Sino? Hindi ko kilala... Kaya tinanong ko ang mommy ko.
Sabi niya,”Nagkasundo kami ng parents niya. Gusto namin kayo ang magkatuluyan. Papakilala ko siya sa yo pagdating natin don.”

Kamusta naman! Blind wedding? Natawa na lang ako, pero natakot ako. Haller, hindi lang ito date... Kasal na ito! Waaaah! Pwede magback out? Pero wala na akong nagawa... Hinatid nila ako sa bridal car. In fairness... Camry ang kotse. Kanino kaya iyon? Pwedeng arborin?

Papunta na kami sa simbahan. Hindi ko alam kung saan. Parang gusto ko munang mawalan ng malay for a moment. Hindi ko madigest yung mga nangyayari sakin. Nakakaimpatso.

Pagdating namin sa simbahan, sinamahan ako ni mommy sa may garden. May lalaking naghihintay. Lalo akong kinabahan, parang gusto kong mag CR sa sobrang kaba. Pagkakita ko sa lalaki, mmmmm! Gwaping! Why not! Mukha siyang kagalang galang. Pinakilala ako sa kanya ni mommy. “Karen, siya ang mapapangasawa mo. Iwan ko muna kayo para magkakilala pa kayo.” Naisip ko, hello.... sa ganitong sitwasyon pa ha!

Pagkaiwan samin ng nanay ko, nag usap kami. Naguguluhan talaga ako. Paano humantong sa ganito ang lahat? Hindi ko na maalala ang pinag usapan namin. Pero nung huli, magbaback out na daw siya. Ang dahilan? Ang pangit ko daw kasi. 

Ang gulo talaga. Hindi naman ako pangit ah. Yun ang nasabi ko sa sarili ko. Tska hello, di tayo magkakilala noh... Gusto ko siyang sabunutan noon pero bigla nalang siyang naglakad palayo.

Kahit nabigla ako sa mga nangyayari, I was devastated. Nag “runaway groom” ang mapapangasawa ko on our “surprise wedding”!

I went back to the bridal car. I was crying. Bakit naman hanggang sa ganito may rejection moment na naganap? Gusto ko na talaga umuwi at matulog na lang for a while. Or maybe longer than that. 
Nagulat na naman ako, sumakay ang nanay ko sa bridal car. Mukhang aware na siya sa pag walk out ng groom but it looks like she’s not worried. 

“Karen, bumaba na tayo... Nakapasok na sa church lahat ng tao at ang entourage. Ikaw nalang ang kulang. May lumapit sa amin at sabi niya siya nalang ang mag aaya sa yo na magpakasal.”

Kewl. Ganun na lang yun? May proxy? Hehehe. Hindi ko na alam kung anong mararamdaman ko nung moment na iyon. Pero sige, go. Bumaba ako kasama ang nanay ko. Nakita ko doon ang lahat ng mga taong naging part ng buhay ko. Slightly, naging masaya ako. But the million dollar question is, “sino ang sumalo sa akin sa panahong ito?”

Naglakad na ako sa aisle, pero instead of walking slowly, binilisan ko ang lakad ko. Ngunit kahit binilisan ko, parang ang layo pa din niya. 

I was surprised pagkalapit ko sa kanya. He was not even in a coat or tie or barong tagalog attire. He’s in casual clothes, at may luggage siyang dala. He’s tall. Pero nakatalikod siya sa akin.

I placed my hand on his shoulder para malaman ko kung sino siya. Nung malapit ko nang makita ang mukha niya...

***

Nagising ako. 

Arrrrrghhh! Yun na eh! Malapit na eh! Pwede bang matulog ulit? Para makita ko lang kung sino siya?
Pero hindi ko na nagawa iyon. I’ll be late for church.

Reactions?

Vol. 1, Post # 7: Confessions of a "babaeng-may-kapatid-na-babaeng-kakatapos-lang-ikasal".

Posted on November 29, 2009.
***
Morning. I went home straight from work. It was first of my 2-day holiday. Good thing November 26 and 27 is a holiday—US Thanksgiving day and a day after Thanksgiving. The second and the most important reason to celebrate—November 27 is my ate’s wedding day. 

Pagdating ko sa bahay, I hurriedly packed up my things. I was not able to prepare my things the other night because I don’t know what should I bring (I mean, what clothes should I bring). The spirit of procrastination ruled over me and I said to myself that I will just prepare when I come home from work. My head is spinning. Antok na antok na ako. I had the plans of sleeping during the trip to Batangas. Sometimes it’s not really a good idea to be awake at night and asleep during the day, specially when having trips at daytime. But well, everything has its advantages and disadvantages.

When I stepped inside the house, I just realized that this will be the last day ate will be single. Tomorrow, she will officially change her surname. The next time we will be back home, there will only be four of us—Daddy, mommy, Karmi, and I. Upon thinking that thought, I had this weird feeling. Hindi ko alam kung lungkot yon. But I think, partly yes. I saw ate upstairs, fixing her things. I came to her and hugged her. I cried.
***
I have nothing to share about our trip tp Batangas because I was asleep the whole trip. What I just remembered is that we ate lunch at McDonald’s and was “outraged” because may maliit na langaw yung chicken ni Ate Joan. Ni-refund yung binayad namin sa pagkain pero I promised myself hindi na ako kakain sa Mcdonalds. Sa branch na yon. And we spent some time at Starbucks and we just enjoyed the moment. When we resumed the trip I fell asleep again.
***
Late afternoon, finally we arrived. We were not able to see the sun set. Feeling the cool breeze of the beach is a wonderful feeling. Meganon. I felt so relaxed and relieved. We ate dinner afterwards and we went straight to our room. Karmi was with me. 

I spent the whole night doing the finishing touches for a simple slideshow of pictures of Ate Karis and my dad. Before I knew it, I was crying again. I just came to realize, time really flies fast. I can’t believe that tomorrow, my ate will get married. Parang ang bilis lang. 

I had a “beauty rest” after that. For 5 hours. Puyat.
***
When I woke up, Ate Edith and Ate Maidz said good morning. I was surprised even though I knew they will be staying with us in the room. Then Karmi said nakakahiya daw ako kasi humihilik ako. Hehehe, I was in denial. Hindi totoo yon kasi feeling ko hindi naman ako humihilik nung tulog ako. 

We had breakfast afterwards. It was fun eating with your friends and loved ones. Karmi and I went to the beachside at naligo kami. Ang saya. After several, different beach escapades, at last, nakasama ko na maligo si Karmi sa dagat. Magaling lumangoy yan. =D

Habang nakababad kami sa tubig, nagkukwentuhan kami. Just like our usual-coffee-shop-chit-chats. Naiba lang ng place. Nagplano pa nga kaming maglaro ng patagalan sa ilalim ng tubig pero natakot ako, baka matalo niya ako eh. 

Napag usapan namin si ate. Naisip ko din na siguro maiispoil sa akin ang magiging unang pamangkin ko. Excited ako na magkaroon na sila ng baby. Hehehe. Pero siyempre hindi yung spoil-age (hahaha pagkain) na itotolerate yung kamalian ng bata. Siguro pag binisita ko lang siya lagi lang siyang may pasalubong sa akin. Pag naging babae yung anak ni ate, dadamitan ko talaga ng parang manika. Pero hindi ko iooverdress. Baka katakutan naman siya ng mga magiging kalaro niya. Pag lalaki naman, hmmmmmm. Wala akong maisip. Siguro tuturuan ni Karmi mag drums. =D
***
Pagsapit ng tanghalian, nag-umpisa nang magdatingan ang mga bisita. Naisip ko bigla, “OMGulay. This is it!” Mamaya, Yumang na si ate. Naayos na din ang set up ng wedding area. Very simple pero bongga! Very unique ang setting. 

We were prompted to prepare ourselves. Si ate, naka make-up na. She is so beautiful. Siyempre dapat lang. Araw niya eh. Araw nila ni Kuya.

Karmi and I started to prepare. After an hour, we are all set. Mukha kaming ewan. Joke! Mukha pala kaming maayos. Paglabas namin ng room, we saw Mom and Dad. Ang cute nilang tignan. But I felt something, specially kay mommy. I can feel the tension, and slight pain, kasi they are about to “give away” their first daughter. Upon thinking of it, I became nervous. Sumakit ang tiyan ko. Weird di ba. Pag kinakabahan kasi ako, hindi kumakabog ang dibdib ko, sumasakit lang ang tiyan ko. Pero Buscopan lang ang katapat niyan. Nawala din naman agad.

Ate called me to help her put her bridal gown on. When I was zipping her dress, pinipigilan ko ang sarili kong maiyak. Why? Kasi sayang ang make up ko. Second, I can’t believe this is really happening! Noon, I was maid of honor or bridesmaid or any other abay for some of my relatives and friends’ weddings. But this time, this is special. 

We went inside the pictorial room for the family picture. I can see the smile on the faces of my parents, Karmi and Ate. But deep inside of me, I’ll definitely miss her. Things will really change after this. I can’t accept that reality at first. But what can I do? That’s life.

Paglabas namin ng room, madami nang tao. I believe nagandahan sila sa place kasi they’re taking pictures here and there. Cool. And I like their casual beach get-ups. Talagang pinaghandaan. And here are my top 5 best dressed awardees (ayos naging instant award giving body ako hahahaha!):
5. Ate Vangie – I like her cream beach dress, it perfectly matched her skin tone. And mukhang blooming siya. Very beautiful.
4. Jade – Simple lang ang suot ( white shirt and pants) niya pero I find it cool pa din! Ewan lang, kahit naman kasi ano yatang ipasuot kay Jade cool pa din eh. What’s new. Siguro naging factor yung nakasabit na shades sa shirt niya and his ever cool hairstyle. =P
3. Rev. Alex Garcia – bukod sa dahil favorite pastor ko siya, he looked even younger sa suot niya. Hindi ko maidescribe kaya tignan niyo na lang sa pictures na makikita niyo =D
2. Mam Soc – eto lang masasabi ko. Ang kanyang sinuot ay “smart casual beach attire”. Kapita-pitagan pero cool pa din!
At ang aking number 1:
1. Mommy Marie! Grabe when I saw her, she was so elegant as usual! =) I loved her beach hat and her pearl accessories. Basta super elegant and beautiful!

Note: Mukha mang biased ang mga pinagsasabi ko dito, hindi naman masyado... Naappreciate ko lang kasi yung suot nila. Yun na!
***
Para ma-career na yung beauty ng beach and sunset, the pictorial for the bride and groom and sponsors and everyone was held. It was fun and sentimental. We were able to enjoy the beauty of nature before the wedding. Kasi pangit na pag after ng wedding yung pictorial eh puro buhangin na lang ang makikita doon. 

And behold... The Wedding entourage. While Kuya JM and Joanne sings “Ikaw Lamang”, the members of the entourage went in. It was a very solemn moment. When it was my parents’ turn to walk in, napaiyak ako. There was mommy, bumigay din, naiyak na talaga siya. Napaatras nga siya, ayaw na niya yata maglakad, pinigilan lang siya ni daddy (na wala masyadong reaction sa moment na iyon). Then finally, she gave in. And the wedding started. 
***
And there it was. They finally tied the knot. The people were so happy for Mr. And Mrs. Yumang. I just sighed. But finally, I gave in. I accepted the reality. But definitely, ma-mimiss ko si ate. Hindi naman talaga actually kami nabawasan sa family. In fact, nadagdagan pa nga kami. And soon, madadagdagan pa. =)

After the wedding, I finally agreed to eat something. During the reception I don’t want to eat kasi wala akong gana. I just wanted to see my friends who were there and talk with them. One of the highlights of the after-wedding-program is the dance of ate and dad to the tune of “I loved her first”. And there comes the AVP I made for them. Ate was really crying. Si daddy, wala pa ding reaction. He is just smiling at ate during the dance. After that, daddy turned ate over to kuya romel. Teary eyed ako. Then I handed a cup of coffee to dad.

After the wedding, and after I ate, I went back to the room. I prepared myself. I slept.
***
Ate and Kuya left the venue at lunch time, together with Karmi and some friends. We (my parents and I) were left at the beach and we stayed until Sunday. One of the rare moments in my life happened – beach bonding with my parents. We took pictures here and there, we laughed, we ate, we had a great time. 

But one time, nag aya si daddy maglakad sa beach side. I agreed and went with him. We had a heart to heart talk. Here is an excerpt of our conversation.
***
Karen: Dad, anong masasabi niyo sa wedding ni ate?
Dad: Ayos naman, ok naman. 
Karen: Yun lang? Ano pong naramdaman niyo nung ikakasal na si ate?
Dad: Wala naman. Ayos naman.
Karen: (to herself: wehhhhh, I don’t believe you.)Talaga? Hindi ba kayo naiyak or something? Or nalungkot?
Dad: Bakit ako malulungkot? Natural lang naman yun eh. Malulungkot ako kung hindi sila handa sa kasal na yan, kung alam kong ang mapapangasawa niya babaero, lasenggo o sugarol. Nakita ko naman na masaya siya kay Romel eh.
Karen: Ah ok.
*silence*
Dad: Eh ikaw, may boyfriend ka na?
Karen: Ah, ako? Ewan ko po. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Joke. Wala pa po eh.
Dad: (hindi na nagcomment) Tara balik na tayo doon.
***
I am a family oriented person. I want to be with them as often as I can. They are the most important persons to me, aside from God of course. Accepting this kind of reality is a hard thing for me. It’s like it’s hard to let go. But seeing ate happy and in good hands, these gave me a reason to let it go and be happy for her. I just don’t know by now what will happen pagbalik ko sa bahay at tatlo na lang ang dadatnan ko doon. Well, let’s see. Congratulations ate. =)

Vol. 1, Post # 6: An Encounter With Ondoy.

Posted on September 30, 2009.
***
September 26, 2009. A sorta-kinda-typical Saturday for me. Since malapit na akong magresign sa work, hindi na ako masyadong nirerequire pumasok ng weekends, kaya these past Saturdays and Sundays, nasa bahay lang ako. I woke up 11 in the morning. Sarap! I checked at the window in my room, it’s raining hard. And it was sooooo cold. I ate my breakfast/lunch while i was planning to go to Market Market for my pre-employment check up. Yes, pre-employment. I got a new job, but it will start 11 days after my effectivity of resignation in my work now.

I was about to prepare when the rain poured harder than usual. Together with my mom and sisters, I peeked at our glass window of our living room and we were surprised at what we saw. Bahang baha na sa labas! And in a matter of few hours papasukin na yung bahay namin!

Daddy is at work in Bulacan ng mga oras na to. In other words, puro babae lang kami sa bahay. And I looked around our house. 2 sofa, 1 couch, 1 large component, ref, tables, chairs, computer set, and 3 tv sets. Imagine (tonong Vilma Santos/Eugene Domingo)! But we had no time to imagine. Ang bilis ng pagtaas ng tubig baha. Right there and then, nag kanya kanya na kami ng buhat. At first nakukuha pa naming tumawa sa mga pinag gagawa naming pagbuhat. Parang instant Hercules/Incredible Hulk kami that time. Buti na lang malalaking bulas kami. Hahaha! And thanks to the adrenaline rush.

But it came to the point na pumasok na talaga yung baha sa loob ng bahay. Since its reconstruction on 2006, and after more than a decade since the last flood, ngayon lang ulit nakatikim ng tubig baha ang mala doll house naming bahay. This time, we were not laughing. Concentrated na kami sa pagbubuhat ng mga gamit. It came to the point din na nagkakasigawan na kami. Nabagsakan pa ng kahoy yung paa ko nung nagdedetach kami ni ate ng cabinet doors. The electricity was already cut off. Wala nang internet, wala nang Facebook, wala nang YM. Wala na ding signal ang mga phone namin. And lalo pang lumakas ang ulan. Wala na kaming contact sa mundo that time. My last message in Facebook was (if my memory serves me right), “Sige, out na muna ako, papatayin na yung main switch ng kuryente namin. God bless!” After that, wala na. 

Up to waist deep ang tubig sa labas ng bahay, while up to almost knee deep ang sa loob. But there’s no way out for us that time, kasi mas malalim pa daw ang tubig sa kalsada sa labas ng subdivision namin. My mom turned her radio na 702 DZAS lang ang station and we listened to any updates. Oo nga pala, wala pala kaming pagkain na stock when this happened (aside sa sandamukal na itlog na nasa ref). But truly God is a providing God. Yung kapitbahay namin na mas naunang lumikas na sa amin (kalahati ng bahay nila was submerged in flood), pinatabi nila kay mommy yung food na napamalengke nila before the flood happened, and eventually gave it to us. Ang cool nga ni mommy kasi she even took time to go house to house to check our neighbors’ condition (Mabuhay ang VP ng Homeowners Association!!!!).
The flood water at first is okay, tubig ulan lang talaga na may halong konting putik at lumulutang na basura, but as time passed by, madami na akong nakikitang di kanais nais na lumulutang (e.g., bonggang bonggang putik at ipis!!!!). Kaya as much as possible we stayed on the second floor at di na kami bumaba. Kaya naman pag may tumatawag sa landline (nasa sala siya sa baba), nagtuturuan kami kung sinong sasagot. 

Pagsapit ng gabi, my mom and ate and I stayed at the master’s bedroom, while Karmi is practicing for her recital. Mom turned on her favorite radio (yung isang radio kasi wala nang signal yung 702 DZAS). We looked for some biscuits, ate it and listened carefully to the news updates. This time, it was really heartbreaking. Almost, if not all of Pasig was greatly affected by the flood. Same goes to Marikina and Rizal. It was very unusual because hindi naman kami masyadong binabaha pag may mga ganitong ulan. And what breaks my heart most is the fact that many people are trapped and stucked on the roofs of their homes, waiting for rescue to come. Mapabata, matanda, buntis, artista; walang pinili ang trahedyang ito. Another heartbreaking fact is hindi enough ang assets and resources ng mga LGUs and the government itself to rescue the victims. Hindi ko man gustong isipin, ngunit biglang pumasok ang mga government advertisement expenses, Le Cirque dinner, at yung mga perang naigastos sa walang katuturan. Imagine (tonong Vilma/Eugene again), maipangbibili sana ito ng mga kagamitang pwedeng magamit sa mga ganitong biglaang sitwasyon. Well, naisip ko lang naman. Wala naman may gusto ng nangyaring ito. Pero, come to think of it, kung may reserved resources tayong naitabi for unexpected situations like this, siguro mas marami ang narescue at napakain agad. Siguro, nabawasan ang mga namatay bunga ng kapabayaan ng iba.

Sabi nga ng status message ng isa kong college classmate, “It’s payback time! – Mother Earth”. The message is, I guess, right. Masyado nating inabuso ang kapaligiran natin. And sabi ng isang environmentalist sa radio, expect the worse/t in the coming days. I just don’t know if he’s just saying the truth or nang aasar lang siya at gusto lang niyang matakot ang lahat ng tao sa mga nangyayari. But I hope his motive is just to tell the truth. Siguro nga ganun.

When we heard na maraming tao talaga ang naapektuhan ng pangyayaring ito, we cried. We realized, mapalad pa din kami, dahil except for a few things na nabasa ng baha dahil nakalimutan naming isalba, the four of us are spared from any danger. We took that opportunity to pray and thank God for saving us, and we prayed for those people who need Him at that very point in time. After praying, I felt the effect of what we did a while ago. Masakit na ang buong katawan ko. And before I knew it, nakatulog na ako.

***
September 27. A ray of sunshine touched my face (meganon!) and made me wake up. Magtatanghali na pala. Gising na lahat ng mga kasama ko sa bahay. Breakfast/lunch is ready. Dun kami sa terrace kumain (that’s what I call now “kakain sa labas”). Wala nang ulan and the sky is clear. Pero it seems mas tumaas ang tubig baha. At mas lalong pumutik at dumumi. I took snapshots ng mga bahay at sasakyan na lubog sa baha, and I also took shots ng sala namin and dining area. Just for documentation.

After eating, I went sleepy and took a nap. Pagkagising ko, Dad was at home with my cousin. Nagdala sila ng Savory Chicken, my favorite! =) While I was eating again, they said babalik na sila ng Bulacan bago mag gabi. I immediately made a decision to go with them. I hurriedly packed up my things and after several hours, we went off.

My dad, cousin and I took a boat ride from our house to the end of Sandoval Avenue, which is about a three-minute car ride. The boat is only improvised, astig nga kasi kinaya kaming tatlo eh ang bibigat namin. Humihinga lang ako every 30 seconds kasi natatakot akong baka mahulog kami. Each time na nagssway yung boat and seems like we will fall off, I was gasping and screaming. The only time I stopped doing so is when dad sternly told me, “ano ka ba, pag nahulog ka naman di ka naman malulunod, hanggang hita mo lang yan noh.” Kahit na, yuck pa din.

Finally bumaba na kami sa bangka-bangkaan. The second phase of our “journey”: A long walk along the muddy, thigh/knee/binti/knee/binti deep flood from Sandoval Avenue to C. Raymundo Ave. It took us 30 to 45 minutes. I was dizzy and about to collapse when I changed my mind, kasi baha ang babagsakan ko, ayoko nga. Kaya I focused and prayed to God to sustain me. As I walked along, I was taking pictures of the place and people were waving and smiling at me when I was taking pictures. Ang Pilipino talaga, kahit ganito na ang sitwasyon, picture picture pa din.

At last, narating na namin ang Arlington, kung saan nakapark yung service vehicle ni dad. I sighed in relief. We went off first to buy pandesal, and afterwards sa gasoline station na maganda na madaming restaurant at Starbucks to eat dinner at Jollibee. Gusto ko kasi ng Chicken Joy. I thought it will make me happier if I eat it for dinner, after all of what happened. My cellphone signal went back to normal, and I texted my friends that I’m fine, thank you. Afterwards I checked my Facebook and received several how are you’s and ok ka lang ba’s and HINDI KA NAMIN MAKONTAK’S. I replied to all of them and I realized madami palang nag alala sa akin, at sa family ko. Yihee!

When I went down to sleep, I began to thank God again for all the things He did and provided to us, to me, to my family. Though I was also worried for some of my friends who were reportedly stuck at their home for almost two days without food (eventually they were rescued, thank God). Then again, before I knew it, nakatulog na ako.

***
September 28. Lumuwas ako to visit my friend in Quezon Avenue because her mom passed away. As I travelled back to Manila, it seems things are back to normal, as compared to last weekend. Lesser traffic. Maybe because classes are all suspended. I was dropped off to the MRT station and took a ride to Quezon Avenue. When I got off the station, one thing caught my attention. A “good” man carelessly threw off his food wrapper on the sidewalk. Mukha mang OA, but I was furious, outraged. I wanted to come to him and demand him to pick off his trash and eat it, or if he can’t, dispose of it properly. Wala kasing disiplina. Kaya tayo sinisingil ng ganitong katindi dahil sa kapabayaan natin.

Let me share to you a thought that I always believe in since when I was in elementary. Pag tayong lahat, nagtapon ng isang pirasong candy wrapper sa daan, at pare pareho tayong nagiisip na, “it’s just a small candy wrapper, wala namang effect kung itatapon ko lang, maliit lang naman kasi”, pag pinagsama sama natin yang mga tinapon nating maliit na candy wrapper na yan, at isang milyon tayong nag isip ng ganyan, isang milyong candy wrapper yan. At pag bumara ang isang milyong pinagsama samang candy wrapper na yan sa mga canal, estero, atbp., may effect na din yan.

In our own little ways, we should be a good steward of the environment. Paano tayo mapagkakatiwalaan sa mas malaking bagay kung sa ganito pa lang pabaya na tayo?

Just a thought.

sala. in a span of a few minutes my sisters and i were able to lift all of these. adrenaline rush.

muddy, yucky, waistline-deep baha.

taken from our house's terrace.

Mercedez avenue

Vol. 1, Post # 5: Ang Closet at ang mga Damit: Some thoughts about letting go

Posted on September 14, 2009.
***
After several months (or few years) of overtime and weekend/holiday work and travelling to different places, I found the time to clean up my closet.

Operation: Closet Overhaul.

I just noticed that I've got tons of clothes to dispose of. I have to get started.

Halo halo na ang mga damit ko. kasi minsan, dahil sa kawalan ng oras, hinahagis ko na lang sa cabinet ko yung mga kalalaba at kapaplantsang damit. Yung mga nakahanger, sabit na lang ng sabit. di ko na nasesegregate o pinagsasama sama yung pantalon, blouse, jacket, etc. Lagi ko kasing sinasabi, pag may time ako at pag nasa mood ako, aayusin ko din yan. aalisin ko din yung mga ibang damit diyan.

and this is the time for that. 

I pulled out ALL of my clothes. Nilagay ko nang maayos sa kama. hiniwalay ko ang mga sinusuot ko pa, ang mga ayaw ko nang isuot, at yung mga gusto ko pa sanang isuot pero ayaw nang magpasuot dahil hindi na kasya sa akin.

Walang problema sa mga sinusuot ko pa. Kaya maayos kong ibinalik ito sa cabinet ko.

May mga ayaw ko nang isuot talaga dahil sa mga sumusunod na posibleng dahilan:

* Hindi na siya uso;
* Mga binigay sa akin na hindi ko trip ang style;
* Pang-lalaking damit (akala yata lalaki ako eh. nakakalalaki talaga.);
* Sobrang kupas na; at
* Gula-gulanit na (layman's term--sira sira na).

Nilagay ko ito sa malaking plastic bag. Bahala na sila mommy kung anong gagawin sa mga damit na ito. Marahil, yung mga pwede pang pakinabangan, ibibigay sa kawanggawa (e.g., ICare. oha!!!); o gagawing pangpunas ng sahig, bintana, pintuan, lababo, or kahit anong bagay na pwede at dapat punasan at linisin.

At ang huling grupo ng mga damit: Ang mga masisikip na sa akin. Bakit ayaw ko silang itapon o ipamigay? Eto ang mga posibleng dahilan:

* Sayang kasi;
* Nakakapanghinayang itapon;
* Baka pagsisihan ko pag tinapon ko;
* Basta sayang;
* Sayang nga kasi.

In other words, ayaw ko lang. Gusto ko akin lang yun. Kaya binalik ko sa closet ko.

Pero, naalala ko yung teaching ni Ptr. Albert Musngi ng JIL Pampanga. Nagamit din niyang illustration sa teaching niya yung pagooverhaul ng closet. Yung pagtatanggal ng mga damit na di mo na nasusuot at di mo na kailangan. Nandoon ako sa point na may mga ayaw akong itapon o alising damit kasi ayaw ko lang. Pero, ang mga damit na ito na hindi mo na naman napapakinabangan at nagdudulot lang ng waste of space sa closet mo ang dapat talagang alisin na to make room for newer, better, more fitting clothes. Eto yung mga damit na magagamit at mapapakinabangan mo pa talaga. 

Just like sa buhay natin. May mga bagay sa mga buhay natin--tao, event, sitwasyon, nakaraan--na ayaw nating i-let go. Eto ang mga bagay na hindi naman nakakatulong sa atin sa paglago into a better person, or better yet, a better Christian (redundant?). Hindi ko man maisa-isa dito kung ano ang mga posibleng dahilan, eto lang ang sigurado ako: Ang mga bagay na ito ang siyang nagiging hadlang para pagkalooban tayo ng Diyos ng mas maganda at mas bonggang pagpapala na magdudulot sa atin ng kasiyahan, contentment at transformation as a better Christian na nakakapabigay ng kaluwalhatian sa Diyos.

Akalain mo yun! Sa pag aayos lang ng aparador, naisip ko yun. Kewlness. Awesomeness. hehehe.

Teka lang ha.

Aalisin ko lang sa cabinet ko yung mga DAPAT nang alising mga damit to make room for NEWER, BETTER, and MORE BONGGANG clothes. Maaaring wala pa sa ngayon. Someday. :)

Vol. 1, Post # 4: Chicken Inasal

Posted on April 2, 2009.

***

Tuesday.

Malalim na ang gabi ngunit nasa ortigas pa din ako. Sa opisina. May nirarush na report para sa Bulacan Beer Audit. Nasa conference room ang mga team leaders ng SMB Audit. Makalipas ang ilang oras, lumabas na sila. May isang lumapit sa akin. 

“Karen, team leader na kayo ni Maricor. Kayo ang in charge sa Pampanga audit.”

Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ako o maiiyak sa narinig ko. Parang ayaw ko. Natatakot ako sa mas malaking responsibilidad at mas matinding pagsubok na haharapin ko bilang isang auditor.
Matapos ang tagpong yun, pinagpatuloy ko ang ginagawa ko, ngunit nawala ako sa focus sa ginagawa ko dahil sa balitang iyon. Kaya umuwi na lang ako.

***

Wednesday.

Bumalik kami ng Bulacan para magdispose ng follow ups ng nag-review ng gawa namin. Kung naging basura lang ang follow ups, ito na siguro ang pinakamahirap idispose, lalo na pag out of this world ang dating, dahil parang imposibleng gawin. Mula umaga, wala kaming ginawa kundi mangalkal ng mga documents na dadalhin kinabukasan sa confirmation (audit procedure ito na kung saan pupunta ka sa mga stores na nagtitinda ng Beer para tanungin ang may ari ng mga gusto mong malaman sa buhay buhay). Inabot kami ng madaling araw dahil dito. Halos maiyak na ko sa pagod at sa gutom, hindi na din kasi kami nakapag hapunan. Inisip ko na lang, tama na lang din yon, para hindi na ako tumaba. Pero ang masaklap, wala na kaming masakyan pabalik ng Manila. Kaya napa-check in kami sa hotel ng di oras. Wala pa akong baong damit. Buti na lang malapit lang si daddy sa pinagsstayan namin kaya nagpadala na lang ako ng damit sa kanya. Nung oras na yon, naisip ko nang mag resign.

***

Thursday.

Medyo tinanghali ako ng gising. Biglang tumawag yung magrereview sa amin. Nandun na daw siya sa opisina, kailangan within 20 minutes nandun na ako kasi magcoconfirm na kami. Ang dating 45 minutes ko na paliligo ay naging 10 minutes sa sobrang pagmamadali. Feeling ko pa nga may bula bula pa ng shampoo sa ulo ko nung papunta na ako sa opisina. Buti na lang wala. 

Matapos ang ilang sandali, umalis na din kami. May kasama kaming driver, siya ang nagdrive (malamang) ng sasakyang sinakyan (malamang ulit) namin sa mga pupuntahan naming tindahan. Inabot kami ng alas-tres sa kakabiyahe at kakapunta sa mga outlets. Late lunch na ito. Sa Mang Inasal.
Ang masaya sa Mang Inasal, unlimited rice. Meaning, kahit ubusin mo ang lahat ng sinaing nila, ayos lang. Yun eh kung kaya mo.

Umorder ako ng: Pecho para sa akin, paa para sa reviewer namin, at one piece chicken para sa driver. Yung sa akin at sa reviewer, unlimited rice. Pero yung sa driver, single serve lang. 
Matapos umorder, naisip ko na mag trade kami ng rice nung driver. “Kuya, single serve na lang sa kin, sa yo na lang yung unlimited.” Nakita ko sa kanyang mukha na nasiyahan siya sa suggestion ko. Pumayag siya. Umorder pa ng desert yung reviewer, saging son yelo. May champola pa. Cool. Tinira ko agad yung champola.

Habang kumakain kami, inoobserbahan ko yung driver. Parang ang saya saya niyang kumakain. Sa sobrang saya niya, kinuha niya na yata lahat ng sili sa counter at nilagay sa sawsawan niya. Tapos sabay sabi ng, “Bicolano po kasi ako”. Kaya pala. Tapos nagkwento na siya. Ang natandaan kong sinabi niya sa mga kwento niya, yung kapag wala silang idedeliver na beer sa isang araw, wala silang pasok, meaning wala silang bayad. Hirap daw siya dahil nangungupahan lang siya, malayo sa pamilya niya. Hindi kasya ang kinikita niya. Pero ayos lang daw, masaya naman siya sa ginagawa niya. Ang nasabi ko lang: Ahhh. Habang nagkukuwento siya, panay ang hingi niya ng extra rice. Mukhang siya na ang makakaubos ng sinaing ng Mang Inasal.

Matapos kumain, may sinabi siya. “Salamat po mam, first time ko lang po kasi kumain sa restaurant.”
Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig nang marinig ko iyon. Ako itong may magandang trabaho, maginhawa sa buhay, mahilig magreklamo; samantalang itong lalaking ito, sa simpleng bagay lang para sa akin, nagiging dahilan na ng kasiyahan niya. Kahit kulang ang kinikita niya, natututo pa din siyang makuntento at hindi magreklamo. Parang nahiya tuloy ako sa sarili ko, kahit hindi naman talaga ako mahiyain.

Pagkaubos ko ng saging con yelo, napagpasiyahan ko na hindi na ako magreresign. Bagkus, gagawin ko ang lahat ng makakaya ko para patunayan sa kanila na hindi sila nagkamali na gawin akong Team Leader. Hindi na din ako magrereklamo sa mga nangyayari sa akin sa trabaho. Iisipin ko na lang na lahat ng trabaho, mahirap. Na mahirap din ang walang ginagawa at walang tinatrabaho. Gagawin ko ang lahat ng ito, higit sa lahat, para kay Lord.

Try niyo kumain sa Mang Inasal. Masarap ang chicken nila don.