When I thought True Love doesn't Exist...

Nung college pa ako, photography enthusiast na ako. Though I don’t have the money to buy a DSLR (that was the time when digital photography is just starting to become popular), I only have a point and shot film camera.  I love taking pictures of anything.  But I must say, I’m not really good in compositions and stuff. That’s why I always dreamed of one day that someone will teach me how to take high-impacting images.  So I stumbled on a Multiply site, named ZHAM MAKES HISTORY.  I was curious.  Ano kaya tong site na to?  Google just suggested this site for me to take a look.  I was browsing all the way to the oldest post, with several albums of glamour shots, high end fashion photos, and conceptual images.  Sabi ko, sino kaya tong photographer na to?

Yeah, his name is Zham Libunao.  Andami niyang fans and followers sa Multiply niya.  And automatically, nadagdagan iyon ng isa—that’s me.  I mindlessly said to myself na sana maka attend at makaafford akong maka attend ng photography classes niya, if in case na magkaroon siya.  Since then, I became a stalker of his works, lagi kong binabalik balikan ang site niya for his new uploads, and from there I gained more inspiration to shoot, and I became more motivated to have my own DSLR someday.

Come the years before I graduate, and the preparation for my CPA Board exams, I have to cut down my internet surfing time to focus on my studies, so nawala ako sa loop sa site niya.  For a while, I have to set aside my photography dream. 

I went through tough times during my singlehood days.  Lahat ng guys na nalink sa akin, kung hindi ayaw akong ligawan, di daw kami talo.  Or lalaki din pala ang gusto.  In other words, lahat hindi nagprosper, hindi nagiging kami.  I cried over this several times ‘til it came to a point na sumuko na ako. I brought it all to God, sabi ko sa Kanya, “ibigay Niya sa akin yung tamang guy for me in a time na hindi ko ineexpect na ibibigay na pala Niya.”  So then, I focused on my career as a CPA, and became busy sa church.

Last January 2011, I signed up to join our church’s training for a new batch of worship singers.  Aside from photography, singing is also my passion.  Kahit minsan nahihiya akong kumanta sa mga videoke gatherings na pinupuntahan ko.

I was late for our first training session.  Overtime kasi sa work. Huli akong dumating and the session already started.  The attendance sheet was given to me. When I was about to write my name, one of the names on the list caught me by surprise. Parang naexcite ako bigla.  I saw his name—ZHAM LIBUNAO—and I was surprised kasi magkabatch pala kami sa training! Fan mode on.  I looked around and saw him (well I assumed na siya yon kasi di ko pa sya nakita before in person).  But I was right, siya nga iyon, and right there and then, naging friends na kami. At ease ako sa kanya kasi marami kaming napagkakasunduan.  He was like an older brother to me—hence calling him KUYA ZHAM.  Nagkataon na magkakaroon siya ng photography class sa summer.  So I signed up right away and even bought a new lens for my DSLR just for that class!

The photography class was soooo fun! Sobrang ang saya ko kasi at last magagawa ko nang tama yung passion ko, and may nagmementor na sa akin.  Never did I know na Zham has a crush on me then. As in di ko inexpect.  I was so at ease with him kasi gusto ko talagang matuto sa kanya.  Kaya pala tuwing may shoots siya ako lagi ang sinasama niya, yun pala para makilala niya pa ako.  That time nadedevelop na yung feelings niya for me—lagi na niya akong minemessage to check me out. Palagi din kaming magkasama sa mga event coverages sa church (we were both a part of the photo club of our church). Shooting pictures with him was so enjoyable.

July 2011, I flew to Canada for a mission trip. Almost a month.  Though we’re oceans apart, palagi kaming nagkakausap sa Facebook and BBM.  Up to this time, di ko pa alam yung feelings niya for me.  Pagbalik ko from the trip, mas lalo siyang naging close sa akin.  But I just assumed na he’s just being friendly. Ayoko na din kasi ulitin ang pagkakamali ko noon—ang umasa.  Pagod na din kasi akong masaktan.

August 12, 2011 is a significant day sa aming dalawa. Why?  Because that night, naholdup ako sa FX na sinakyan ko pauwi.  A guy took my valuables, tinutukan ako ng baril sa mukha ko mismo. I was so scared that I just had a blank reaction after that incident.  Na-trauma talaga ako. Pero thankful ako kay Lord kasi He spared me.  That same night, muntik nang maaksidente si Zham.  Yung cab na sinasakyan niya muntik nang mabangga ng van.  But God also spared him.  Maybe because hindi pa niya nasasabi yung feelings niya for me. Maybe because God has something better for us to discover it ourselves.

After that incident, mas naging close si Zham sa akin. I was now wondering why. But still I don’t want to expect.  Until one night, he finally told me his feelings for me.  I was shocked. I was confused.  He’s too good to be true, he’s too good to be the one for me.  For weeks, I prayed to God to guide me, na huwag kong pairalin ang emotions ko, to give me the discernment to know if he’s sincere or not.  He has been in bad relationships in the past—another thing that we had in common.  Tsaka ko narealize, na unknowingly, I also fell for him already.  I enjoyed so much of our friendship that I almost forgot that it will be more wonderful if we will take our relationship to the next level.

He courted me, my family and my close friends =).. naging kami last 11/7/11.  After that, we eventually started to hold photoshoots for a cause named Project Miracle, and went again to the photography business—fashion, glamour, ad, events, and now, wedding photography coverages.

The Lord gave Zham to me in a moment when I least expect it.  He gave him to me in an instance when I was about to believe that true love doesn't exist; when I was about to say to God, "ayoko na pong magmahal ulit kasi po pagod na pagod na ako." He’s my best friend, my mentor, and now, my soon to be husband.  Up to now, hindi pa din ako makapaniwala. Ibang klase talaga pag inallow mong si Lord ang sumulat ng love story niyo—mas nakakakilig at nakakainspire pa sa pinaka cheesy na movie na maiisip niyo.  All we have to do is to enjoy the things that we have at the moment, excel in what you do, be a good person to everyone, and most of all, LOVE GOD above everything and everyone else.  I know that there will be more tougher trials to face, and harder times to endure with Zham, but I also know that since God is the center of this relationship, the author of our love for each other, we shall break through all these.

True love is really worth the wait.  Just be patient, and it will come. J  

Just Tried the General Motors Diet!

Hello! I just want to share my GM Diet experience. As a background, this diet program has rumoredly designed for the employees of General Motors and their families on the 1980s, but I was able to read that it is just a hoax. But I tried it anyway. I need to see myself again in my clothes na di ko na masuot kasi i really gained weight.


I weigh 110 lbs way back college. I eat much especially rice. I can consume 3 cups of it in one meal. But I don't watch out on my weight because I dance and do basketball.

When I was operated due to appendicitis, I have to slow down on my physical activities, but my eating habit did not change. I was reviewing for my board exam then, so drained brain means more food to eat. It came to a point when I ate 4 cups of rice, even with a little serving of ulam, to satisfy my hunger. That's when I started to gain weight. It became worse when I went to work, where eating much is "a must". Now, before I tried the diet, I weigh 165 lbs. I became too big for my current clothes and I am getting bigger than Zham (my soon to be husband). So that's a wake up alarm for me to start losing weight.

My church friend referred this program to me, so I gave this a shot. Let's see how was it:

Day 1. All fruits except bananas. Your first day will consist of all the fruits you want. It is strongly suggested that you consume lots of melons the first day. Especially watermelon and a loupe. If you limit your fruit consumption to melons, your chances of losing three lbs. on first day are very good.

- I ate rambutan, lanzones, two servings of Dole sliced apples, and a serving of Dole mixed fruits. I drank 12 glasses of water.

Day 2. All vegetables. You are encouraged to eat until you are stuffed with all the raw or cooked vegetables of your choice. There is no limit on the amount or type. For your complex carbohydrate, you will start day two with a large baked potato for breakfast. You may top the potato with one pat of butter.

- I consumed four servings of KFC Asian garden salad and two large KFC mashed potato without gravy. I was not able to prepare my own baked potato that's why. I drank 14 glasses of water.

* I lost two lbs after this day.

Day 3. A mixture of fruits and vegetables of your choice. Any amount, any quantity. No bananas yet. No potatoes today.

- I bought two packs of Dole sliced apples, a cup of Dole mixed fruits, one small pack of del Monte pineapple tidbits (I set aside the syrup and ate only the fruits), one serving of chopsuey, and two servings of KFC asian garden salad. I drank 13 glasses of water.

* I lost another three lbs after this day.

Day 4. Bananas and milk. Today you will eat as many as eight bananas and drink three glasses of milk. This will be combined with the special soup which may be eaten in limited quantities.

- Medyo sumablay ako dito. I was only able to eat six bananas. I drank two glasses of milk and a bottle of soy milk. This is my least favorite day. Nag LBM ako and had stomach cramps. I also ate a portion of HongKong noodle soup. Sablay talaga. I drank 12 glasses of water.

Day 5. Today is feast day. You will eat beef and tomatoes. Eat two 10 oz. portions of lean beef. Hamburger is OK. Combine this with six whole tomatoes. On day five you must increase your water intake by one quart. This is to cleanse your system of the uric acid you will be producing.

- Mas lalong sablay day. I was not able to eat even one piece of tomato. I ate a portion of beef oriental with mushrooms and roast beef. But I ate a bite of barbeque, a bit of sapin sapin, and a small chicken piece. I was realllllyyyyy guilty. I drank 11 glasses of water and a large Serenites green apple tea without sinkers in 25% sugar.

* But I lost a pound.

Day 6. Beef and vegetables. Today you may eat an unlimited amount of beef and vegetables. Eat to your hearts content.

- I ate a serving of beef steak and chopsuey. But..... also a stick of crab egg and squid balls. Sablay again. But I drank 14 glasses of water.

Day 7. Today your food intake will consist of brown rice, fruit juices and all the vegetables you care to consume.

- Parang walang nasunod. Hehe. I ate a serving of pepper and tofu, Fish fillet, steamed veggies and mashed potato. I drank Serenitea Hokkaido drink without sinkers in 25% sugar.

- May GM wonder soup na supplement ang diet na ito, but I did not follow it, because I have no time to prepare for it. I might try this the next time I do this diet again.

Conclusion: I lost six pounds in total on this program despite several cheats haaaayyyy... Ang catch dito is you have to drink lots of water which is not my thing before. This is important kahit pabalik balik ka sa CR to pee. I was thinking if I followed this strictly I should've lost more. Take note that you can repeat the program if you wish, pero mas ok if you'll repeat two weeks or a month after. This is really a low calorie/energy diet so better if you will ask your doctor first before ding this program. Since I found this effective for me, I might do this again, but probably next year, before my wedding. :)

If you were able to try this before, you may want to share your experience by commenting on this post. :)

Please Like This!

Okay, at past midnight, I was on my last batch of my load of two day's laundry.  While the load was spinning dry, I went to my room to check my Facebook feed.  Several message boxes were popped up on my screen, and I checked them one by one.

One is from my Filipino/Norweigan friend who is now here in the country. One is from a fellow member of our church's photo team.  And there are other two--asking for a favor:  please like this picture.

I clicked on the first one.  What I saw is a group picture of a local JIL church members in Batangas, posted on our church's FB page.  I replied to her and said that I was able to like that picture some time ago.  She said thank you.

Then this.  Next is from a friend, asking me to like a picture through the link he messaged me.  I was a bit sleepy when I clicked the link--and I just had the most freaky mini heart attacked since college!  What I saw is a picture of close up shot of a man in a coffin, with his eyes opened and looking at me!!!! I was so pissed off and in shock.  I cannot understand why people have to do that.  I just don't understand, really.

It took me a while to go downstairs and finish my laundry, but I prayed to God to help me overcome my fear.  I breathed deeply, and went downstairs, and finished what I have to finish.  But before that, I unfriended the person who sent me the link.  Sorry.

From now on I will:

- be cautious on what links I should click and what I shouldn't.
- will ask the person who is asking the favor--"why should I have to 'like' the picture/post?"
- will not like a picture/post right away unless you're my parent, sister, brother, best friend, or my boyfriend.

Now tell me, we should really think before we click, right?

In Random Mode Again!

Hello guys! It's been a while. Yes. A while.  August last year pa ako huling nagpost ng entry ko dito.  And admittedly, I missed blogging!  I became more focused on photography, on work, on the music ministry, and now on my wedding preparation, and diet.

This October will definitely be a jam-packed one!  Here are the reasons:

1.  October 5 is our 34th JIL Anniversary.  Ano yung JIL?  Church po namin yun. Jesus Is Lord Church.  Ang simbahang kinalakihan ko na.  Dito nabuo ang pananampalataya ko sa Lord, and I'm happy to say dito din ito nadevelop, at patuloy na dinedevelop pa.  Naniniwala ako na ang church na ito ay tunay na pinanganak mula sa puso ng Diyos.  Alam ko din na kahit kailan, hindi iniwan ng Diyos ang JIL.  Maraming umalis, at may mga dumating din naman.  Madaming nag iba. Pero ang proteksyon at pagsama ng Diyos sa simbahang ito, hindi naiba. Actually, mas tumindi pa nga.  Anyway!  Excited ako sa gagawin ng Diyos sa araw na ito.  Bukod sa matinding walkathon at stand-a-thon (may ganung word ba) na aming pagdadaanan sa photo team, excited din ako dahil magiging way ang event na ito para madami pang makakilala sa Diyos. Yan naman ang isa sa mga misyon natin dito sa earth--ang mag evangelize, and mang encourage ng ibang tao, para mas makilala pa nila si Lord through  us.  Sorry sa taglish ha.  I'm just typing as I think of what I should share. :)

2.  October 6 and 9 - PROJECT MIRACLE Batch 4 Photoshoot! Pang apat na salvo na ito mga bro at sis! This time, ang iCare Compassion Ministries naman ang aming beneficiary.  We are anticipating a lot of participants for this shoot.  I pray na isa ka sa mga iyon. For more details, please e-mail me at karen@kkbmovement.org :).  What's even more exciting about this is that mas pinatindi ang manpower for this shoot--we were able to invite more Hair and Make Up artists, and more support from our apprentices in photography.  Exciting na nakaka kaba.  But I know everything about this will never be in vain kasi for sure may patutunguhan itong project shoot na ito.  Thanks to JIL, ZOE Light TV and iCare.

3.  October 7 - Lead worshiper sa Sunday service after the anniv.  So why did I mention this?  Para mag brag? Hehehehe, noooo... Memorable po ito kasi last year, the sunday after the 33rd anniv, yun yung una kong lead worship assignment.  This year, ganun ulit.  Thrilling kasi nga kakatapos lang nga ng anniversary.  Nakaka kaba na nakaka "pressure" (well I always feel this pag naaassign magpakanta sa church) in a sense na you, together with the whole team, should be able to usher the congregation in another level of worship.  I thank the Lord kasi hindi ako makapaniwalang ilalagay Niya ako sa team na ito.  Madami Siyang tinuro sa akin through this team, and masasabi ko na nag grow talaga ako not only as a worshiper, but as a Christian.  Ang iniisip ko ngayon, I have to give my best and excellent offering of worship to Him, I need to be equipped and prepared.  After all, He is the God of excellence.  He deserves the best.

4.  October 10-13 - Out of town.  I'll write about this pero not here. Sa JIL website. Watch out. :D

5.  October 15 - Prenup shoot. No, hindi kami ang ishushoot ni Zham (name po ng mapapangasawa ko). Kami po ang magshushoot.  We've been doing this kind of shoots recently lang.  It's a great feeling na maging part ng mga ganitong klaseng shoots.  Especially if you were able to capture their perfect moment, worth na itreasure for a lifetime.  I thank God kasi He's been using these talents to make other people happy. And on our part, a sense of fulfillment; knowing that through your lens someone will have a souvenir to look back on someday and remember that special moment.

6.  October 20 - Another prenup studio shoot sa paborito naming studio:  sa Camera Cart in Maginhawa St., Quezon City.  I'll post some of the shots after the shoot.

7.  October 27 - Wedding shoot.  I will also keep you posted. :)

So yeah, this blog is just about anything.  Hopefully I can update this regularly and I also hope you won't get tired of reading my entries! :)

Cheers,
Karen

**You may want to check our FB Page.  Zham + Karen Photography

Held-up.

And it was a typical Friday night, and I’m in the usual “thank God it’s Friday” mood.  I was on my way home from our office team meeting and dinner.  I was high-spirited and happy.  My workloads are done for the week; I had a fun moment with my office mates, and eagerly looking forward to the weekend.

I took my usual routine on my way home:  I walked from dela Rosa and crossed Ayala Avenue, and went to the waiting area for a cab.  Mga ilang minuto din akong naghintay pero walang dumadaan na sasakyan.  So i opted to walk again towards Valero, deciding to take the fx shuttle on the way home.  One unit stopped in front of me, bound to Greenland Pasig.  I made a hand sign asking kung dadaan ng Bagong Ilog.  The driver nodded, so I took the ride.  I sat at my favorite spot—sa likod, right side.  The driver’s wife and their two kids were at the front, a guy and two ladies in the middle, then another lady was with me at the back.  There was this weird looking man sitting with us at the back, right in front of me.  At first when I looked at him, I was like, “kuya ayaw mo naman magslouch? Nasa bahay ka?”  He is wearing a black cap, dark clothes, with a dark colored knapsack, and he is “dark”.  Naisip ko na naman, production assistant ba tong si kuya? Naka all black eh.  He looked restless.

The weird looking man, finally, settled on his seat properly.  Kinuha ko ang earphones ko and I listened to music like I usually do when travelling.  Hindi ko nilabas yung iTouch ko, just the earphones.  Hindi ko maiwasang mapatingin sa lalaking kaharap ko.  He looks like he’s observing each and every one of us inside the vehicle.  I had this sudden feeling na “baka holdaper to.....”.  When we approached the Buendia flyover, I was currently in making a decision to get off the vehicle when suddenly the tall, dark and never mind man sitting in front of me took a gun out of his dark knapsack and forcefully declared:  “HOLDAP TO!”

I was shocked.  My sleepiness left me that instant.  I began to tremble and wanted to faint.  Unang tinutukan ni kuya yung isang lalaking nakasakay sa gitna (minutes earlier he took out his iPhone 4 because someboday called him up).  “Akina mga cellphone niyo!!!!” My heart wanted to jump out of my chest, I was really in shock.  I was saying to myself, ilalabas ko ba yung BlackBerry ko? Nooooo.... I won’t, di ko naman siya nilabas sa bag ko eh. He wouldn’t know. 

He grabbed the phone of my co-passenger, a Nokia qwerty phone.  Nung una aagawin pa sana ulit ni ate yung phone niya, pleading to get her simcard back.  But the man was furious, he angrily refused to return the sim card.  Then he grabbed the other man’s iPhone 4 and the other lady’s cellphone.  Walang nakuha dun sa isang babae kasi malayo siya dun sa holdaper.  It all happened at the flyover.  Parang gusto kong marealize na ganun pala kahaba ang Buendia flyover.  It was my longest trip at the flyover, ever.

He last looked at me, tinutukan niya ako ng baril, right at my face, and demanding me to give him my iTouch---my only begotten iTouch:  The one given to me by my younger sister, a gift from her from Canada.  Of course, even at my state of shock, I was able to think of my actions properly.  I just gave it away.  Pikit mata.  I wanted to scream, to cry out, but I chose not to.  Baka magfreak out si kuya at barilin ako.  Ayaw ko pang mamatay.

Pagkababa ng flyover, he shouted at us once again, still pointing his gun at us... “Huwag kang titigil sa pag andar!  Pasasabugin ko kayong lahat!”  After that threat, he hurriedly went off the fx shuttle.  Nagmamadali siya, may lakad yata... and walked away from us, normally, as if nothing happened.

We continued in our journey to Pasig but it’s as if we don’t know where we are going.  That’s the time na nag freak out na yung mga kasama ko.  But I was still silent, not because kalmado ako; but because I too wanted to freak out!

We stopped at Kalayaan Avenue and figured out what we should do.  The driver went off the fx and looked for someone na makakatulong sa amin.  Then there’s two policemen who approached us and asked what happened.  Sinabi naman namin but we were disappointed with their response.  “Hindi po kasi namin jurisdiction yung pinangyarihan ng holdap eh.  Sa may presinto sa may Hotel Intercon kayo magreport....”  Okay fine, pero sana kahit escortan man lang kami papunta dun sa presinto, baka mas okay na sana.  But after a few minutes, the two policemen were nowhere to be found.  So we made our own efforts to look for that police station, wala kaming choice.  The woman sitting beside me and the other one na hindi nakuhanan ng phone, they did not went with us due to their personal reasons.  I was tired and sleepy, but I chose to come with them.   I posted a status on my Facebook about the incident; I was trembling still while typing the words.  I was thankful to God for sparing my life.  I texted my family and informed them of what happened.

We were able to locate the police station and reported the incident.  I was not putting any hopes na mahuli nila yung suspect, if you know what I mean.  After an hour my parents and my sister arrived at the station.  Upon seeing them, I broke my silence:  I embraced my dad and cried.  I was really scared, afraid, traumatized.  Noon, hanggang kwento lang sa mga friends ko yung holdapan na  ganun, but now, mismong ako naexperience ko na.  Totoo pala talaga na may ganun.

After that, umalis na kami sa police station.  Hinatid na din namin yung isang  babaeng naholdap.  We reached home at past 1AM. 

Pagkaupo ko sa kama ko, may mga naisip lang ako (these are honest thoughts, not necessarily correct or acceptable):

Dapat pala may isang spare phone ka na mumurahin na pwede mong ibigay sa holdaper.

-          Dapat pala dinala ko yung pepper spray ko.  But I changed my mind.  Baka magpaputok lang si kuya ng baril pag inisprayan ko siya nun, lalo lang magkagulo.

-          Ngayon ko napatunayan yung mga sinasabi noon ni Bro. Eddie:  Na shocking and grinding ang poverty level sa atin.  Na kailangan pa mangholdap at pumatay ng tao para lang magkapera, para lang mabuhay.

-          Ayoko nang magcommute mag isa.

-          May isa pa akong naisip, pero hindi ko na isusulat dito. 

I was crying and praying to God, thanking Him for sparing my life.  I believe He has greater plans for me na hindi pa nangyayari kaya He saved me from that danger.  Despite the trauma that incident caused me, still, I will never stop thanking the Lord for his indescribable mercy and power, and for the lives of my family and loved ones who showed concern to me... Truly no material possessions can match the Lord’s greatness and the love these guys showed me.

"For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways." Psalm 91:11 KJV

Just want to share this song by JJ Heller – Your Hands

I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away

I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

Your hands
Your hands that shape the world 
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when...

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave...
I never leave Your hands